She closes her eyes, regret clear on her features.]
... I had hoped that, as your kingship was the will of the gods... he would finally cast aside his rivalry with you. And were I to announce the decision during the ceremony, with you present... I feared his anger would only consume him further.
[There's nothing she can really say to that - now it does seem a foolish hope; but at the same time Aera doesn't know what else she could have done. And she doesn't want to believe that animosity between the brothers would have been the only way...
Her voice is quiet as she replies, still not looking up at him.]
... It was not always like that. I remember when you both yet cared for each other...
[She does not reply, guilt and despair swirling within her. The guidance of the gods was meant to make the life of mortals... if not better, then more stable. A path to follow, so that none need be lost and uncertain, and turn on one another because of it... Was it all in vain, then? Was what she believed simply a lie?
Was there meaning to her life as the Oracle? Was there one to Ardyn being a prince of their people?
Selfishly and hopelessly, she can't help thinking that perhaps if they had been born to a humbler standing they could have led a simple but happy life together.]
[ more and more, he's coming to this reluctant acceptance. that the Aera in front of him might not be a hallucination, might not be an illusion created by Bahamut. that it's somehow Aera - - returned to life in actuality after two thousand years.
it's not an easy conclusion to arrive to, for many reasons. ]
[She nods silently - accepting her own existence here is not easy for her, either, made all the harder by seeing Ardyn like this, by learning of the fate he was condemned to, and perhaps of her own role in it.]
You've come to loathe me...
[It's hard to tell if that's a statement or a question; not even Aera herself is sure. It's an almost unthinkable idea, but with how different he is, perhaps not impossible.]
[ he's actually not sure if that's exactly right - - but he does vividly remember the hatred, the feeling of betrayal, for all those years after he demonized Ifrit. ]
[Aera looks down, pressing her arms to her chest, almost drawing back; she looks smaller like this, vulnerable, a little like a frightened animal. With this pause in their respective outbursts it's coming to dawn on her that this really is Ardyn, the man she loved, who now hates her.
It's unfair, a part of her wants to cry; what did either of them do to deserve this? And even if she hadn't told Somnus, would it have stopped him if he were to learn the decision during the crowning ceremony? Did they have a chance to begin with?
The thought is despair-inducing; all she and Ardyn ever wanted was to be together and make certain their people were happy. And now she is dead and Ardyn is meant to be the world's end, and whatever they had can't be brought back, as though they're both being punished for ever having cared.
Aera turns around quickly, her back to Ardyn, shoulders hunched and body tense, buries her face in her hands. She can't will herself to move, but she doesn't want Ardyn to see her cry, either.]
[ he can't see her face but he can guess from her posture - - and the general tone of the conversation thus far - - what is going in. automatically a distaste wells up within him, an ugly and long-standing bitterness that overrides any sympathy he might have had for her in this moment.
she died, but he was forced to live and suffer for two thousand years of imprisonment. she hardly deserves to feel sorry for herself, he thinks. what could she possibly be crying over?
[you haven't even told her about the two thousand years nerd how is she supposed to know.
She startles and shudders at the sharp sound of his voice, but manages a nod, still without looking round. She's not exactly in a state to speak - or think proper, for that matter. All that there is right now is grief and despair.
Perhaps it would have been better if she'd stayed dead, whether back in their world or here when Ardyn first killed her.]
[ Aera being dead would solve a lot of his problems at the moment! he doesn't waste any further time - - he scoffs, something that might even sound petulant, before he turns to leave her be.
in some ways it might be a mercy, not further berating her. he's being nice? ]
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no subject
Date: 2021-10-07 03:55 am (UTC)And you told him. Why?
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Date: 2021-10-07 03:58 am (UTC)She closes her eyes, regret clear on her features.]
... I had hoped that, as your kingship was the will of the gods... he would finally cast aside his rivalry with you. And were I to announce the decision during the ceremony, with you present... I feared his anger would only consume him further.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-07 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-07 04:29 am (UTC)Her voice is quiet as she replies, still not looking up at him.]
... It was not always like that. I remember when you both yet cared for each other...
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Date: 2021-10-07 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-07 05:04 am (UTC)[so like remember how you used to be a good person and did not Immediately want to murder your brother]
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Date: 2021-10-07 05:34 am (UTC)And ... well, look how that has borne out.
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Date: 2021-10-07 05:54 am (UTC)Was there meaning to her life as the Oracle? Was there one to Ardyn being a prince of their people?
Selfishly and hopelessly, she can't help thinking that perhaps if they had been born to a humbler standing they could have led a simple but happy life together.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-07 06:32 am (UTC)[ more and more, he's coming to this reluctant acceptance. that the Aera in front of him might not be a hallucination, might not be an illusion created by Bahamut. that it's somehow Aera - - returned to life in actuality after two thousand years.
it's not an easy conclusion to arrive to, for many reasons. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-07 07:15 am (UTC)You've come to loathe me...
[It's hard to tell if that's a statement or a question; not even Aera herself is sure. It's an almost unthinkable idea, but with how different he is, perhaps not impossible.]
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Date: 2021-10-07 07:09 pm (UTC)[ he's actually not sure if that's exactly right - - but he does vividly remember the hatred, the feeling of betrayal, for all those years after he demonized Ifrit. ]
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Date: 2021-10-08 05:23 am (UTC)It's unfair, a part of her wants to cry; what did either of them do to deserve this? And even if she hadn't told Somnus, would it have stopped him if he were to learn the decision during the crowning ceremony? Did they have a chance to begin with?
The thought is despair-inducing; all she and Ardyn ever wanted was to be together and make certain their people were happy. And now she is dead and Ardyn is meant to be the world's end, and whatever they had can't be brought back, as though they're both being punished for ever having cared.
Aera turns around quickly, her back to Ardyn, shoulders hunched and body tense, buries her face in her hands. She can't will herself to move, but she doesn't want Ardyn to see her cry, either.]
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Date: 2021-10-08 05:38 am (UTC)she died, but he was forced to live and suffer for two thousand years of imprisonment. she hardly deserves to feel sorry for herself, he thinks. what could she possibly be crying over?
he snaps, not able to resist it: ]
Now, will that be all?
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Date: 2021-10-08 05:44 am (UTC)She startles and shudders at the sharp sound of his voice, but manages a nod, still without looking round. She's not exactly in a state to speak - or think proper, for that matter. All that there is right now is grief and despair.
Perhaps it would have been better if she'd stayed dead, whether back in their world or here when Ardyn first killed her.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-08 11:49 pm (UTC)in some ways it might be a mercy, not further berating her. he's being nice? ]